I was initially diagnosed with stage 2B high-grade ovarian cancer. Statistics suggest that at this stage, there’s a 70 percent chance of being alive and cancer-free for at least five years — which many people, myself included, consider cured.

So when, 16 months after finishing chemotherapy, I was told my cancer was back, I was in complete shock. I don’t think my initial diagnosis hit me as hard as the recurrence.

I went from feeling healthy — like “I beat this” — to hearing that I had a long road ahead and that my cancer was treatable but not curable.

Researching My Options

I spent much of the first few weeks after that crying — thinking the worst, worrying about my kids growing up without a mother, and feeling completely paralyzed by indecision.

I didn’t know what treatment I should do next, since there are many options for recurrent ovarian cancer, but no clear winner that will help you live longer.

Which standard treatment should I choose? Should I enter a clinical trial if eligible, as my oncologist suggested?

The stakes seemed high: Pick the wrong treatment and my cancer (or the side effects of treatment) would kill me quicker. Pick the right treatment and I may have a chance at a long remission.

“The stakes seemed high: Pick the wrong treatment and my cancer (or the side effects of treatment) would kill me quicker.”

Thinking about clinical trials gave me something productive to do — research. I felt like I had a choice in my treatment. I took a deep breath, told myself it was important to take the time to choose the right treatment for me — despite my feeling that I had to start treatment RIGHT NOW! — and began the next phase: planning my next steps.

I started where my oncologist suggested — on ClinicalTrials.gov — and entered the term “platinum-sensitive ovarian cancer.” (For those not familiar with this term, I was considered platinum-sensitive because it had been more than six months since I finished a platinum-based treatment.) I selected “Recruiting and not yet recruiting studies” and clicked “Search.”

Narrowing Down My List

About 50 trials came up in my search, so I narrowed the list to those within the United States. That left 30, which was still a lot to review and process.

Next, I focused on cancer centers that treat a lot of people. I would consider traveling if needed, but I preferred trials that were within driving distance or had sites near family and friends in case I needed to move during the trial.

I ended up with about six trials that seemed like a good fit. This meant I didn’t have other medical diagnoses that would exclude me, hadn’t already received treatments being paired with the trial drug, and didn’t have tumor mutations that would make me ineligible. I also focused on trials that gave medication in either pill or intravenous form.

I estimate this research took about 20 hours, but I didn’t do it all at once. It was heavy stuff with lots of unfamiliar medical terminology, even for someone in healthcare. I would spend a few hours researching, then take a break for a day or two.

Getting a Second Opinion

I also sought a second opinion at a nearby cancer center, where I had gone for a second opinion after my initial diagnosis.

I talked through these trials with that oncologist, who gave me his opinion and recommended a trial I had not given much consideration to, although it was one I came across in my search. I took the informed consent form home and made an appointment with my local oncologist.

The next visit with my oncologist was long — I went through the six trials, plus the new one from the second opinion. She listened to my thoughts and gave her honest opinion about each option, including whether she felt a clinical trial was a reasonable choice and whether it may help me. Like me, she had reservations about the new trial.

“Having a trusting, therapeutic relationship with your oncologist is so important.”

This experience brings up an important point: Having a trusting, therapeutic relationship with your oncologist is so important.

My oncologist will not sugarcoat a result or paint a picture of gloom and doom. She is humble and shares what she knows, what she thinks, and what she hopes — making it clear which is which.

No Regrets

In the end, I decided that none of the trials were exactly right for me, so I chose a more standard treatment. When I learned the standard regimen wasn’t working, I went through a similar — but shorter — research process and got a third opinion. This time, the three opinions were unanimous about recommending a specific trial that I qualified for, rather than standard treatment.

More importantly, the trial felt like a good fit for me. It combined one of the treatments I had received the first time around (leading to my remission) with a brand-new class of medications that has shown promise — a treatment regimen I’m still on, with stable disease.

I don’t regret this decision at all, even though it didn’t stop my cancer from progressing. I made the best choice I could with the information I had at the time, and I partnered with my team.

I didn’t blindly accept a recommendation to do a treatment. I was able to receive months of treatment locally, had manageable side effects, and could work with minor accommodations.

“I’m still here and fighting, and that’s good enough.”

After all, it’s my body, and I know it better than anyone. I’m the one experiencing the side effects and the hard days. I believe honoring my body and trusting my instincts will always pay off.

I remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can, that I’m still here and fighting, and that’s good enough.

MyOvarianCancerTeam members discuss ovarian cancer from a specific point of view. Members’ articles don’t reflect the opinions of MyOvarianCancerTeam staff, medical experts, partners, advertisers, or sponsors. MyOvarianCancerTeam content isn’t intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.